A Painter's Musings on the Visual World

Yesterday I bought a cello

It’s a used economical student model that you might get for a 12 year old who might get distracted by hormones in the near future. I’ve wanted to try to play the cello ever since I first heard the solo on Harry Chapin’s “Taxi” in 1972. I was 22 then. I understand it’s a hard instrument and there is a high probability I will fail miserably and at some point it will get donated to a 12 year old. But for now, it is on my bucket list.

"Madame Suggia" by Augustus John

And I don’t really have a bucket list…I’ve always just wandered. The path of my life in the “Arts” looks like a 2 year old’s crayon scribble. In art school we had a little coffeehouse venue on campus where I found my voice. Then I was in a country rock band in my 20’s whose dreams of the big time lead to playing for the “gate” at local biker bars…too many late nights, too much smoke and alcohol. I gave all that up for paying jobs and being a Mom, but I always loved music. I taught art in elementary and middle school, then retired to become a full-time painter. I had some success, got some national accolades but then grew tired of the art world. It seemed that when I pursued art, I gave up music and vice versa. "Paris Musician" was painted in those early painting years.

"Paris Musician" Jane Chapin

About a year ago I stopped painting. Neck and hand injuries were causing me to lose my grip on brushes and the control of my marks. After a while I picked up the guitar again. Even though it hurt to play some days, I could play enough to sing along with myself. I found some open mic nights and finally a little group of older folks playing country music for free at a round robin coffeehouse venue. Good people and a place with no agenda – it is just fun.

"Gig"   Jane Chapin

In the last year when my church needed a keyboard player, I put down the guitar and dusted off an old electric piano to see if anything remained from the piano lessons I had abandoned in the 6^th grade. So I became the elementary very flawed keyboard player in church. All that God required was a willing heart and a joyful noise. He gave me some gifts and I am grateful.

At some point I will return to painting hopefully without giving up music this time. But I don’t feel a great need to “compete’ – entering shows or vying for awards. Sometimes I think if I had applied myself to one discipline…or even two, I could have been a bigger “name” but, then again, I never much liked marketing myself and I just don’t care. Those folks don’t seem any happier than I am.

So I am thankful…for having kids, getting some applause here and there, having taught and having learned and now I get to sing thanks and praise on Sunday. As my worship leader says, ”Its not a performance”.

Life is not a performance…it’s a squiggly line of successes and failures and trying to prove you are good enough and realizing it doesn’t matter and lifting up whatever voice you have and…and…

And yesterday I bought a cello.