A Painter's Musings on the Visual World

I was sitting in church last Sunday listening to a message about being “at peace” versus finding “inner peace”.  The reference was from the Book of Romans and it has now filtered through my cerebral cortex like a meandering river picking up memories along its path to empty into an art blog. If I can be forgiven for making an overly concise summary, the Pastor explained that we are “at peace” once we accept faith because we no longer fear rejection. He went on to compare it to the search for “inner peace” by referencing the myriad of self-help books one can find in any bookstore (if one can actually find a bookstore). The sheer quantity of shelves devoted to self-help dwarf any other category.  Whether it is financial, marital, career or personal the advice is supposed to lead us to the inner peace we seek to achieve. The Pastor quickly added that inner peace is pretty much unachievable because as soon as we think we've got it, something else happens to disturb it.  Life by its nature is not peaceful – it is not supposed to be.  

 “Hugging the Shore” 22 x 28” National Show to gallery representation to international award to book cover.  Never sold and hangs in my home.

In some ways the only path to finding peace in our lives is to relinquish the constant pursuit of it – accepting we are not in control of all things. We may find a higher peace through faith, whatever that faith may be or through our closest relationships – those where we are accepted for who we are unconditionally. Regardless of how at peace we are with ourselves, we still will experience disappointment, despair and loss.  My mother had the perfect antidote and would simply say, "Things happen for a reason.”  It let me know that there was some other purpose to be had.  Remembering Mom’s calm voice of unconditional acceptance often still rights my ship.  

“Cathedral Ceiling” 24 x 30” Solo show having 3 buyers, then 0. Awaiting its forever family.

 
The art business is not our parent nor our religion and we are not going to feel unconditional love from it for very long, if at all. We are door to door salesmen in a business loaded with rejection. We cannot control it.  We can seek refuge and achieve peace in the process of painting, but it is doubtful we find it in the marketing of that work. I just got a returned painting from a national show on Monday.  I still own many of my most “successful” paintings and I have to accept that it is perfectly OK or else be tormented and seek help for everything I did “wrong.” I need to relinquish control of the market’s response.

“Lithesome” 30 x 40” Solo show to international finalist to national show award. Still available

Self-help for artists might be the abundance of workshops and how-to videos we can absorb in our effort to become accepting of our own work.  Yet I know very few artists who are satisfied with their accomplishments. Add to that the “self-help” of looking for acceptance on social media, designed to give us a temporary dopamine hit for each like (key word “temporary”). Even long-established artists feel invisible if their years of accomplishments happened before Facebook and Instagram. Books and magazine features are dinosaurs in the age of social media feeding frenzies where becoming a “rock star” happens overnight and must be constantly fed.  In the theatrical realm of social media marketing, you are only as good as your last performance. It then can become devastating when you do not get accepted into a show or do not have great sales at an opening – all of which could then have been parlayed to a glowing Facebook post or Tweet to get your next dopamine fix. There must be a self-help book for that problem.

“Finally Home”  16 x 20   National Show to hanging in my home.  The one and only painting my husband said I am not allowed to sell.

Finally the Pastor quoted one of his mentors describing what happens when your life has “less runway” and I knew instantly what he meant. It’s a bit of a contradictory thought that less runway would equal peace of mind. I should be panicking as my time to achieve perfection and greatness shortens but that is not the way it works. It is more like just taking your foot off the accelerator, loosening your tight grip on the wheel and realizing you have all the control you need.